building trust

Building Trust Within Oneself

By Julian Wojczynski

Building trust with oneself is, in its essence, a process of making and keeping promises.

Here's how that works.

You have a vision – which is your promise for a future.

You say to yourself, “I am going to make something that is not yet real in physical reality.”

I am going to take something from 0 to 1.

From nothing into something.

The future is something that you talk about that hasn’t happened yet.

In contrast, the past is something you talk about that you say has already happened.

Dealing with the past is simple. Deal with it and be done with it. Get what there is to get, and what there is not to get. Allow it to be. Choose it. The way it is. The way it isn’t. It is what it is. Is it? It is.

The future can be for yourself, for others and for the world. Living in the interplay of how your personal vision weaves with the vision you have for others and the world creates a whole and complete vision.

Now, to make that vision a reality, you need structures with actions.

Visions without structures and actions break down into a vast array of operational paradoxes and functionality issues that create a false reality of confusion, conflict and suffering.

To go beyond that, read on…

Structures are what give you and your system capacity.

Capacity is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as “The maximum amount that something can contain.”

A simple example is having a calendar or a habit reminder.

A structure offloads a task to something outside of you and frees up processing power. When used with integrity structures are what make humans reliable by enabling completion of promises made.

Actions inside of a structure set you up to have an opportunity to produce results with a certain measure of consistency and predictability.

Without action there is no possibility for consistent results to occur.

In the case of actions they build routine and practice.

Virtually everyone can make and keep a promise at the level of routine. eg. Brush teeth, make bed etc. Routines are things you already know how to do – or could easily learn how to do. Having routines will ensure you maintain your existing structure – eg. your current level in life – but that is all it will do.

As you can see, it will take something extra to make and keep a promise when you have a vision. The “extra” are what you practice.

A practice is a specific kind of action. Having a practice means you are doing something to upgrade your existing structure. Eg. A Martial Art practice or a Medical practice. You do a practice because you are not good at something -- at least not yet. Over time, as you practice you have the opportunity to master that which you practice. In essence, having a practice is a promise you make with yourself to be great at something over time.

So whereas routines make us ordinary and maintain life, practices gives access to extraordinary, by the simple act of adding something extra to our activities.

Said another way, a routine is doing the ordinary activities of life. Only doing routines will keep you ordinary. A practice is adding something extra to the ordinary activities in life. Having practices and doing them will make you extraordinary.

So, you want to trust yourself?

Have a vision.

Write down your vision as a descriptive final outcome.

Looking from the vision choose a community you want to impact and make a promise to that community. That will be your mission statement.

Get present to the recurring theme you want to work and play inside of.

To make your mission possible list your areas of focus and set some goals.

Each goal you set becomes a project that you manage in time with a schedule.

What you need to do next is:

  • List your routines so you can maintain your structure and current reality.
  • List your practices so you can upgrade your reality to be consistent with your vision and the goals you have set for yourself and your community.

Then,

Do the routines.

Do the practices.